This is one of those conversations that I wish I could have back. Unfortunately, all I can do now is hope that everyone involved forgets. Well, that and try to stop singing in the mornings.

Just how far would you go to get out of mowing the lawn? In my case, the answer is about 36 miles. Enjoy!

Do you remember your first monster? For me, it was Smaug. The boys are much less sheltered than I was. They have seen and heard of hundreds, if not thousands, of monsters. So how does Smaug match up? You tell me.

What’s more powerful: an explosion of anger and frustration, or the barely contained explosion, the one that is glimpsed at the surface, but never actually happens?

Sometimes, it’s better to just put the shovel down, and accept that you’re standing in a hole.

What happens when a 6-year old starts thinking deep thoughts? Whacking. And no, you’re not allowed to yell at me for whacking my six-year old. Not until you read this, at any rate. Then you can yell all you like.

There are plenty of laws out there that I disagree with. This isn’t one of them.

I still maintain that the original plan described in today’s tale was a good one. I had no way of knowing just how badly it would turn against me.

It’s easy to take shots at the Florida education system, but my kids have been blessed with some truly talented teachers, this tale notwithstanding.

I’ve been wanting to try this trick for as long as I can remember, ever since I watched Bugs Bunny do it to Daffy Duck. Thanks, Bugs!