Perhaps the biggest question of our family right now is exactly what sort of creature Goofy is. It has long been my contention that Goofy is *not* a dog. That he is, in fact, his own creature. The rest of my family rarely agrees with me on this, and it has led to meany long discussions which are basically all the same:

“Daddy, Goofy’s a dog.”
“No, he’s not a dog. He doesn’t have a tail.”
“Yes he is a dog!”
“No, he doesn’t have paws. He has hands and shoes.”
“But he has fur!”
“Does he? When he takes his hat off it looks like hair.”
“Goofy’s a dog!”
“Does he bark?”
“Nooo…”
“Then he’s not a dog. He’s a Goofy, not a dog! Pluto’s a dog.”

… and so on. My crowning argument is that his girlfriend is Clarabelle and she’s a cow. I’m not sure what sort of creature (other than another cow) would date a cow, but I’m pretty sure that “dog” isn’t on that list.

Over the past few months, the kids have switched sides many times. Sometimes one agrees with me, sometimes both, and sometimes I’m all alone in my steadfast belief. My wife (of course) has chosen to take the other side of the argument.

This whole conversation was made more complicated when we went to Disney and asked a popcorn vendor. “I think he’s a dog,” she said hesitantly. The kids jumped on that, but I interrupted and asked why he didn’t have a tail. “Um, I don’t know. Maybe he’s not?” she said.

We’ve repeated this exact scene with other Disney employees. In fact, I think that I’m slowly converting the Disney castmembers to my position. It clearly is not something in their employee handbook (though it probably should be).

The kids have taken to using this argument to express themselves. If they’re having a particularly good day, they’ll look at me and say “Daddy, Goofy’s a dog.”

If they’re feeling more contrary, they’ll announce “Goofy is NOT a dog!”

What do you think? Is Goofy a dog?

Want to comment? Hit me up on Threads or Facebook!